spray tan

The Spray Tan phenomenon – who are you kidding?

Following on from my statement about the grotesquely hideous platform wedge, another postmodern ‘fashion’ abomination that requires addressing is the spray tan. What could possibly possess someone to pay money to stand in a cubicle completely naked (g-string optional) and be sprayed with iridescent orange paint so that they can emerge resembling an oompa-loompa or a corpse restored by a colour-blind mortician?

In addition to this, the spray tan, as far as I am aware, only lasts for a brief period of time. The upside to this of course is that it at least limits the time period in which you would be exposed to public ridicule. Yet, fans of this innovative tanning technique insist on perpetuating this cosmetic cataclysm. Here is a profound revelation…there is this thing…it is called…the sun!

On a positive note, after several years of profits gained by the ‘beauty therapist’ for performing this service, they will finally be able to afford the highly accredited Certificate IV in Eyelash Extensions.

I'm sure even Donnatella Versace would consider this extreme.

I’m sure even Donnatella Versace would consider this extreme.